They shoot nilbogs, don't they?

47. The Runaways (2010)

I’m going to go ahead and spoil this review for you right now. This was my favourite movies of 2010. I love it. I have my problems with it (not enough Lita Ford, mostly) but I really, really, really love it.

The Runaways mostly chronicles on the rise and fall of the all-girl band. Although, it rarely takes it focus off of Joan Jett and Cherie Currie, and plays a bit fast and loose with the facts. It’s filmed in a lush 70s style, complete with elements of that era’s cinematic flourishes. It just oozes cool.

Prior to seeing this, as a fan of The Runaways, I was worried. I had all the preconceptions that Twilight and a wealth of crappy biopics could offer. While the film is impeccably cast, Kristen Stewart completely blew my mind as Joan Jett. She completely embodies the role. I almost couldn’t tell the difference. Her voice, her mannerisms, her swagger is classic Jett. 

In a film populated by excellent performances and pitch-perfect impersonations, Michael Shannon still manages to swipe every scene he is in, with his throat-achingly intense portrayal of music producer Kim Fowley.

The Runaways plays as a sort of Almost Famous meets Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains, and it’s easy to see why. Stains is almost a riot-grrl tinged fiction of The Runaways, and it’s nice to see it come full circle with this movie borrowing a few beats from Stains.

Sure, Dakota Fanning’s Cherie Currie voice needs some work (although the Cherry Bomb chorus is perfect) but The Runaways is the best rock biopic in a seriously long time. Lita or no Lita. It’s funny, sexy, and cool. A big recommend.

8.5/10

46. Puncture (2011)

Talent-vacuum Chris Evans eeks out a decent performance as a addict lawyer who takes up the cause of nurses who catch disease after pricking themselves on needles (a cumbersome sentence, if ever there was one, eh?).

I’m a sucker for a good courtroom drama and Puncture had all the potential needed to grow into a decent film. It has a David and Goliath type story, lashings of personal tragedy, and a compelling figure at it’s heart. Unfortunately, it’s a little undercooked. All the situations just feel forced, much like it was trying to hit those emotional beats but failed to apply enough pressure.

Evans acts to the best of his ability, and manages to elevate himself above his usual standard but still isn’t up to the level of, say, John Cusack. It’s a sturdy performance, but lacks heart. 

The film’s ultimate failing is how shallow it ends up. Two converging storylines fail to meet adequately and what remains is a mish-mash of good ideas and bad execution. Where the film does succeed is in it’s ability to make you want to find out more about the tragic figure of which Evans role was based.

5/10

45. Happy Birthday To Me (1981)

For this review, you will have to listen to the Gorepress Gorecast. It’s available here (for listening online) or here (for listening through iTunes)!

Check it out.

44. The Ides of March (2011) 

The omnipotent Ryan Gosling stars alongside George Clooney in this political drama. Gosling plays an idealistic campaign manager who receives a concetrated hit in the dirty sport that is politics after he discovers a potential scandal involving his boss.

I don’t think I had seen a Ryan Gosling film prior to this. I’d been put off by Hollywood’s efforts to make him the Next Big Thing, I get the impression they are priming him as the thinking woman’s Ryan Reynolds. They are certainly casting him in everything. Gosling certainly has charisma and presence, and he can act, but is he really anything special?

This film is directed in a workmanlike fashion by Clooney. It’s basic, lifeless, and drab. Perhaps this is an intentional decision to let the performances do the talking. There are some great performances. Paul Giamatti and Philip Seymour-Hoffman turn out in force as the political masterminds behind their respective candidates, while Clooney’s Nathan Petrelli-esque character doesn’t have a lot to do. Equally underwritten was Rachel Evan Wood’s love interest character. She essentially plays a walking plot point with nothing to add.

The Ides of March reminded me a lot of the John Travolta/Clinton vehicle, Primary Colors. And much like that film, it’s funny, interesting, but ultimately vapid. 

5/10

43. Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971)

I’ve already been a big Argento fan, particularly his giallo stuff (including Giallo, a film so ridiculous that it’s impossible not to fall in love with). I remember seeing this film with French subtitles about twelve or so years back and loving it. Seeing it again aged 26, it was a very different movie. I went to a screening of the new Shameless remastered version, and it was crisp as heck. Lovely.

Fuzz rock drummer and, presumably, full time Nigel Tufnel lookalike Roberto Tobias is being blackmailed after accidentally committing a murder. He seeks to find the person blackmailing him as people begin to die.

This film was a lot funnier than I remember. Both unintentionally and on purpose. Some of the directorial flourishes are entirely absurd too. But it is excellent. Argento has such a unique eye for colour, and while this film is slightly more rudimentary than Suspiria, it still packs a visual wallop. 

The mystery aspects are fairly predictable and some of the technology in the film err on the side of sci-fi, but the performances and the sheer directorial skill of Argento make Four Flies a tense ride into high class giallo territories. 

7/10

42. Apollo 18 (2011)

I was stoked on this movie, I like Moon stuff and I thought it might be fun. Not even a room full of my friends could make this dog enjoyable.

Some dudes go into space and it’s, like, totally a secret and shit goes wrong. Blah.

If you’re making a mockumentary, partciularly a serious one, your performances need to be great. Look at Aussie chiller Lake Mungo. All the actors in Apollo 18 were giving lazy school drama performances. 

The concept has potential, but is never realised while the film plods at a snail’s pace. You’re on a rocket going to space! How do you make this boring?! Some of the effects looked pretty great, others not so much. In general, the movie looks good. The sets are nice and there are some great shots. In the hands of a better director, the claustrophobia of the ship would have been explored and exploited. As it stands, it’s just another crappy low-budget Blair Witch-alike begging for a huge profit. Avoid this movie.

3/10

41. Judge Dredd (1995)

Just two years after Demolition Man, Stallone is back with what is essentially the same film. Fans of the source will find little to enjoy in this, but Sly fans might enjoy it’s silliness.

Dredd is a hard-nosed future-cop framed for a crime he didn’t commit forced to bring down the system he lives for in order to save his own life. Judge Dredd takes itself seriously which, coupled with unrecognisable Dredd, is probably the downfall of the entire flick.

As a lifelong fan of both 2000 AD and ridiculous action flicks, I found myself torn. Dredd sans helmet is a concept I can’t even compute, though I do love the absurd reveal that it is (shock!!) Sylvester Stallone under that helmet. 

The ABC Warrior looks great and the Angel family are well realised, but mostly it’s a big mess. Dredd lurches from oh-so serious to almost spoof territory without any coherence at all.

A muddled missed opportunity that ultimately fails as both an action flick and a Dredd flick.

4/10

40. Demolition Man (1993)

Action movies are seldom as ridiculous and overblown as this Stallone classic. It’s gleefully absurb, and it revels in it.

Super-cop John Spartan dedicated his life to catching Simon Phoenix (Wesley Snipes at his best) and is rewarded by being placed in a cryogenic prison. When Phoenix escapes from said cryo-prison, Spartan is thawed to bring his unique brand of justice to the year 2032.

Actions cliches abound in this self-aware romp. It’s shit, but packaged and flavoured in such a way that it is impossible not to get a dude-boner. And there is little else to say.

6/10

39. Defendor (2009)

Living, as we do, in a post-modern society, everything is a dissection of that which came before it. This is the only way I can explain the appearance of this, Super, and Kick Ass in such close succession. Surely not the first treatise on the idea of superheroism (though I have no idea what is, Blankman maybe?) but Defendor was definitely the first of that bunch. And probably the best, to boot.

Arthur Poppington is a simple vigilante hell bent on stopping Captain Industry, a supervillain polluting the streets with drugs, crime, and violence. 

While Kick Ass veers off into the world of comics, and Super hides behind brutal violence, Defendor manages to capture both worlds whilst remaining grounded in a reality we can recognise. It’s touching, depressing, and funny in equal measure with a real world resolution that is both satisfying and sad.

The performances are strong, and Woody Harrelson anchors the film with understatement and charisma. There are nods to other hero franchises throughout, such as Bale’s guttural Batman, and constant references to shows like Columbo and The Rockford Files. It’s a spoof that gets increasingly less comic as it runs, and works well because of it.

6.5/10